My Garden

It is so nice to see the flowers in the garden it is like a parent looking at a growing child. All the efforts worth it to see the garden full of flowers These were the white lily's I planted last summer.

These lily’s followed me from upton park house. I did had lots of White dallies at upton park, I thought I brought them here in the pot but I am missing them now

 

 

 

Sunitha took some of these pictures with lots of interest. Now I feel like I should have taken the picture of my garden, when I came to this house. It was just like a wild forest. I had dogged whole of this garden once!!!

 

 

 

 

     

I love to watch the rain droops collected on the petals early morning which reminds me again the mist droops early morning at kuthpady!!!

 

  

 

 

 

 

I am proud to show off this picture here because I did this myself. I bought the tiles and chips from Wickes and did this!!!! 

Sad feelings

Last couple of weeks were hectic at work because of the shortage of staff and the busy schedule. I am getting tired by the end of the week now may be the age factor?!!!!! I still remember Dr.Sharma use to be happy for the weekends and I use to be sad for the weekends because I never had anything to do over the weekends, so I rather happy to work over the weekends. I use to tell him I don’t like weekends he use to tell me once you cross 30 then you appreciate the weekend it is true now!!!!

I had this sad feelings since Thursday when one of our old patient came for some palliative radiotherapy for the 3rd time, He told me that his wife is in another hospital dying of cancer so he got special permission from his doctor and went to see her and nobody to take care of her. It shook me a I didn’t know what to say.

I remembered my early days in radiotherapy at KMC as student, we use to have lots of small kids for Radiotherapy I use to cry in the toilet or on the way back home because that time Putta and Ammi were small kids. Later on it became a routine. I got use to it so much cancer is like a fever for me now.

I know some patients are real fighters I remember another old man who had treatment for head to toe for 14 areas started of primary of prostate and remaining all metastasis, he appeared recently for the 15th time he recognised me straight away and smiled at me it was like cancer itself standing in front of me and challenging me “look at me I am back can you win over me?!!!!” He told me when I was walking for the treatment “Doctors says I don’t see this Christmas but I challenged him I will” and just laughed at me.

We don’t realise what we have till we loose it.

A young lady had her breast cancer treated a month back and said bye to us and told us “I don’t want to see you guys again suddenly appears for the metastatic treatment and doctor giving her a time line of maximum 3months!!

As another young patients who calls him self a lamb man because he is in lamb business says “you never know what is waiting for you in the corner” because he was a healthy man till June suddenly he developed some weakness he went to see his GP and got diagnosed with Leukaemia and nobody to look after his lambs!!!  

The story goes on but still the man fight for power, happiness, never ending list of wants!!!!!

Rain in London

It is raining today in London. I love the rain I was sitting in the conservatory and watching the rain drops it is the happiest moments of my life in Kuthpady. I miss those days of childhood I use to drench in the heavy rain. In the night could hear the sound of rain drops falling with thunder and lightning as a kid we use to get freighted grandmother use to give us a mantra to recite which would send the thunder and lightning away and we believed it and those mantra was rooted so strongly a couple of years ago when I had been to kuthpady in a rainy session the same mantras started coming in the mind!

I think I loved this rain in London because it is not like the one comes in winter. We had hot days for a while without any rain and here comes the rain with the temperature like India in 20’s. Sunitha has gone to play badminton at her club so I was sitting alone at home and thinking the sweet memories!!   

It use to be so wonderful days I miss them a lot the jackfruit, mango, sweet potato pappadam and all the edibles.

I love the trees and plants drenched in the rain and love to see the water dropping from them and the sound of the water drops on the roof 

working for NHS

Working for NHS is sometimes is a joke. I feel some times this people are gone mad. Every time I see a USB stick attached to a key ring which can be easily taken off the ring is attached to a thick chain (thicker than the chain I sue for dogs back home!!!!) which intern screwed in to a thin screw inside a drawer !! IS the height of stupidity of the law of confidentially in this country!!! The USB stick is encrypted, it is in a room which has got a access code protected door which is locked all the time!!!!!
Another funny thing is the photo ID camera, according to the rule we are not supposed to store any photographs of the patients in the camera we have to attach it to the computer file of the patient after that we must lock away the empty camera in the fire safe!!!
I feel so stupid of myself to fallow some of these rules I would not have done this in India at any cost. I would have fought with everybody about it but not in this country I am helpless just do what is been told to me!!.
Lots of things we do just to save our skin may be because the system is been developed in this country like that I feel so miserable some times, because I need to convince the patient to take the treatment, it is his life and his suffering but I need to convince him or her to take the treatment and I need to try to fulfil their demands (it is not a request). I feel some many times what I am doing here when a patient put a condition to me that if you are not treating me at 5pm I am not coming for the treatment!!
I worked in a private hospital back in india but we never had any problems. We didn’t had these stupid laws
Everything need to go according to the protocols. I feel I lost my creativity or innovative ideas I too became a protocol prototype!!!